Keeping Your Child Off Drugs: Skills Beyond "Just Say No"

Get to know your children's friends, talk them about alcohol and other drugs and be mindful of packages coming to your home.

Those are some of the tips participants got during a free seminar at last week for parents seeking information on drug awareness and prevention.

The main areas of focus were prescription drugs, marijuana, and alcohol because they are most commonly used drugs by school aged children, but tobacco, inhalants, heroin, cocaine, methamphetamines, and ecstasy were also discussed.

"If you walk out of this room and nothing changes, your time here will have been wasted," said presenter Cheryl Phillips. "You need to act on what you're learning."

Phillips,  a certified teacher who holds a master's degree in education, is the coordinator for the t. Joseph Mercy Health System's Exploration Station, run out of the Canton Health Center. 

The Huron Valley Community Coalition and Huron Valley Optimist Club sponsored the Drugs 101 event. Here are some of the tips Phillips and others offered:

Crash Course: Drugs 101- Tips for Awareness and Communication 

"Kids have enough friends. They need parents," said co-presenter Gretchen Nachazel, who has worked for the St. Joseph Mercy Health Exploration Station for the last 10 years.

Nachazel encourages parents not to buy into a child's remarks that found drugs or drug paraphernalia is "Not mine" or "It was my first time" excuses just because you want to believe that your child is not involved with drugs.

"Think about the first time you did something that you didn't want your parents to know about. You were 10 miles away and in the middle of a deserted area" she said. "If you caught them that means they're comfortable getting away with it. You don't start off doing drugs in your bedroom."

Set Up Communication

The program recommends that parents begin talking to their children early and often about drugs.

"Don't worry that you're giving your child ideas on how to use," Phillips said. "Tell them what to expect before they're presented with the opportunity to try it." If you wait until they are approached with the opportunity to use, they'll only have the information from the person providing the drugs, who is probably also misguided.

Be a Role Model

Use opportunities as they come up to continue drug-related conversations and remind your child how you feel about it. Model for you children the behaviors you want to see from them in your everyday life.

"'Do as I say, not as I do' parenting does not work," Phillips said.

The experts said media bombards children with mixed messages related to alcohol and drug use so it is important to give them real-life example of fun being had without drugs, especially in the case of alcohol.

"Verbalize your actions, 'I'm not ordering a drinking tonight because I am driving.' It sounds weird, but where else do kids hear that? Show them that fun can still be had without having to drink."

Get Involved

Make sure to monitor your child's activities and be involved in the relationships with their friends. It's parenting, not being nosy, especially when the alternative could put your child's life in jeopardy, experts said.

Be aware of your child receiving lots of packages and remember that it is within your legal rights to search your child's room.

"Drugs are not delivered to your home in a package labeled 'Drugs-R-Us'," says Nachazel, "They're plainly wrapped just like anything else."

Experts also warn parents against giving generic gift cards with the Visa or Mastercard logo as they can be used to purchase items anywhere online as long as the user checks the "I am 18 or older" box.

If your child mentions going to a party, call up the parents and ask if they'd like you to send over any snacks or beverages. This is an innocent way of checking up.

Set Up Rules Together

"Consistency is key," says Phillips, "Set up rules with your child and enforce them consistently."

Avoid judging and blaming your child for mistakes, or using threats or bribes. Instead, sit down with them and clearly define your expectations for their behavior and make clear the consequences to broken rules. Follow through on enforcing any broken rules matter-of-factly and without negotiation. Do not exceed the previously discussed punishment.

Listen to and respect what your child has to say. This will help to create an environment in which they are comfortable coming to you to discuss issues.

Warning Signs

• Change in eating/sleeping
• Changes in attitude/grades/truancy
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Changes in physical appearance and grooming habits
• Unusual need for money
• Missing items from home or sudden appearance of new items in child's room
• Hostility or evasiveness in discussing drug-related concerns
• Legal problems (i.e.: Minor in Possession)
• Preoccupation with drug related issues
• Obtaining drug related paraphernalia
• Increased dishonesty/secretiveness

If you suspect your child may be using drugs or need help with a drug-related issue, check out some of the available online resources for more assistance:

• www.theantidrug.com
• www.acde.org/parent/Default.htm
• www.teensusingdrugs.org 

If you wish to attend a "Drugs 101: What Parents Want to Know" seminar check out www.stjoeshealth.org/classes for future dates, times, and locations.