In Loving Memory

This week has been the hardest week of my life, and that's no exaggeration.

On March 25, my 76-year-old grandmother, Loretta Joyce Meier, passed away suddenly, and unexpectedly.

I've often talked in this column about my grandma and the love we both shared for cooking. To think that we can never bake Christmas cookies together again, or eat another Sunday family dinner together hurts my heart in a way I never thought possible.

My grandma was the strongest, most independent and loving woman I know. After my grandfather Steve died in 1997 my grandma had to literally learn how to live on her own.

My grandpa had always taken care of her, paid the bills and even pumped gas for her every time she needed it. After he was gone she had to learn how to write a check and pump gas. She moved to Michigan in 1998 and has spent the last 13 wonderful years with my family.

We did everything together. I even had the honor last November to have her present during my engagement, something my grandma cherished. It pains me to think she won't get to see my brother Mike and cousin Chris graduate from high school this year, or my sister graduate from college; but it hurts the most to think she will miss out on the happiest day of my life in December - my wedding. I know she and grandpa will both be there in spirit, but I really wanted to share in that moment with her – the woman I looked up to so much when she was alive.

While at her house Friday night, making calls to family and neighbors to let them know about my grandma's passing, I found a recipe on her kitchen table. It was a recipe for doughnuts she had cut out from a 1983 Iowa newspaper.

When I showed it to my Uncle Jim he relayed the following story:

In late February, on my grandma's birthday, my uncle took her to Olive Garden for lunch and ordered her zeppoli, Italian soft doughnuts. He said my grandmother scarfed the entire plate of doughnuts down, and especially loved the raspberry dipping sauce.

This reminded him of when he, my dad and aunt were growing up.

"When we were little she used to make us doughnuts," Jim said. "I remember she would have them ready for us after we got off the bus from school."

My uncle reminded my grandmother of this and last week she had found this recipe, she was planning on making it prior to her untimely death.

In honor of my grandmother, the matriarch of our family, I made her recipe on Tuesday.

To make these you will need the following:

• 1/2 cup of boiling water
• 1/4 cup of sugar
• 1/4 cup of shortening
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1/2 cup of half and half
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 1/2 teaspoons of active dry yeast
• 1/4 cup of warm water
• 3 1/4 cups of sifted flour
• Cooking oil for frying
• Confectioners' sugar

For the raspberry sauce:

• 1/2 cup of water
• 1/2 cup of sugar
• 2 teaspoons of grated orange zest
• 2 cups of unsweetened frozen raspberries

Scroll through the photo gallery of some of my favorite pictures of my grandma and also step-by-step instructions on how to make this recipe.